Phil – Phil sounded great but I am so tired of him.  There is nothing edgy or memorable or “next greatest pop star” about this guy.  Phil’s confidence has soared in recent weeks.  He used to just sing his heart out and then butter up the judges, camera and Ryan to get votes.  It was so annoying.  His ever-dedicated wife would just sit there grinning and Phil would be schmoozing away.  I read this past week that someone else likened him to Eddie Haskell… what a perfect comparison.  Anyway… where was I going with that?  Oh yeah… Phil seemed like he was more comfortable with himself… a little more confidence.  Will it help… probably not… but it was nice to see. 

Jordin looked the part of rocker.  She didn’t do all that much up there on the stage but man was she sweating or what!?!?!?  It wasn’t very good vocally and it was nice that Jordin knew it.  Lucky for her all those votes from last week count this week too.  It is almost like we didn’t need to have this week at all.  Jordin is just so huge.  She isn’t over weight or anything… she is proportionately large.  She just looks like another species up there next to Ryan.

Lakisha didn’t realize that the waist is that part of your body BETWEEN your chest and your hips.  She unwisely wore an outfit with a waist right smack in the middle of her ever so subtle bazookas.  Ryan asks her to sit and Lakisha says nope… I am standing here accentuating my slimmer side.  No comment.  Ryan can do nothing but continue with the interview awkwardly sitting while Lakisha stands and we all try to figure out why sitting would be worse.  Lakisha says something about singing in church and we see her interaction with Bon Jovi which cracks me up.  Is this what we have come to?  Is Bon Jovi that old?  Am I?  I mean if you are too old to have rocked out to him in the day then you at least have seen him on Ally McBeal or you have heard of him somewhere.  Nope… not Lakisha.  Pan to the stage and Lakisha is set up for her big Bon Jovi number.  Well what do you know… the outfit is very slimming from this far away angle.  The faux red waist does make her legs look longer.  Too bad the camera zooms in and we are then reminded at where that red lace actually is attached.  I digress.  The singing is pretty good… not too much yelling.  Too bad for Lakisha that she didn’t do so hot last week when people were voting in droves… that could send our girl to the bottom 3 for sure.

Blake has spent the last few weeks proving his singing chops… got him in the bottom 3 once.  He is back this week and has said to himself… I will show American Idol… I will not sing Bon Jovi… I will just beat box through one of his songs and be done with this silly Bon Jovi week once and for all.  And for that… I applaud him.  His performance was fun and you could hear the crowd go crazy when he got to the beat boxing part.  All the antics got to be a bit much for him in a couple spots but it was a fun performance on an otherwise dreary night.  Loved the brown hair… Was it just me or did you think Bon Jovi just didn’t know what to think of Blake?  Blake showed up with all that music written and plopped it down on the piano and basically just told Bon Jovi and his piano dude “this is what I am doing with your song”.  Mr. Jon Bon Jovi was kind of like “whatever… you’re funeral dude”.  I was cracking up.  You go Blake.

Awe… poor Chris… every time I see him now I automatically listen for the nasally sound to come out of his mouth.  I also just look for the dreamiest eyes shot and sigh at the TV.  It wasn’t very good… the nasal sound came out right away.  On a positive note, Chris learned the words by Tuesday night.  Chris also reminded me that my son needs a haircut.  Do I want to all out shave it like Chris’s or just trim it and let him keep his forehead covered like he wants?  It just grows so fast.  I was watching one of the stylists work on men while I was getting my own hair done last time and I am going to try a new technique on my boy.  Those of you who see him will have to let me know what you think.  I have recently upgraded my skills from shaving his head to actually cutting it all with scissors.  My husband even turned me loose on his head with scissors the other day.  I am now going to try this new technique and see how it pans out.  I am hoping it is easier.  I am seeing a new career in my future (he).  I wonder if it has better hours.  Hmmm…

I am skipping the whole interaction between Melinda and Jon… I can’t believe she went with the “I am not good enough” bit.  Melinda looks great.  Her hair, makeup, outfit… everything was “young”.  We all know this isn’t Melinda’s genre but as Melinda has proven time and time again… she can sing anything.  Vocally… great.  The song got away from her there a bit towards the end but that didn’t seem to trip her up.  Melinda is so safe it isn’t even funny… especially considering that these votes are just going to be lumped together with last weeks.

Who’s going home… I think this could be the end of the line for Chris and Phil but I don’t think Lakisha is safe at all.  I am planning on watching tonight’s show in like 5 minutes flat.  I have no desire to see Bon Jovi sing anything at this stage.  Just seeing who gets voted off will suffice for me.  Besides… I logged way more time than usual last week watching all of Wednesday’s hub-bub.

Side note – poor Bon Jovi… Phil was the only one who knew who he was… because he started singing his song when he was like 3!!!  Jordin only knew who he was because her MOM loved him from back in the day.  Chris didn’t bother to learn the song, Lakisha knew there was some guy named Jon Bon Jovi on Oprah once and Blake just changed the song up.  Simon didn’t even know a song or 2.  Poor guy.  He’ll be fine.  I was even impressed with his numbers (sales, albums, shows, etc.).  Every interview I have ever seen also leads me to believe that Bon Jovi is genuinely a great guy and this show won’t faze him.

Speaking of
Sparks… the rib-high skinny pants were not the most flattering things in the world but Jordin will be the hottie once Haley leaves.  She is just so darned cute.   

No goose pimples from Phil for me… just a super cringe as his voice cracked not once but twice toward the end of his song.  Too bad… I really like that song.  I think what I like most about Phil is his wife’s dedication.  She is just a cutie, isn’t she? 

Um… Lakisha… you are not a size 4.  You were busting out of that dress all over the place.  Don’t get me wrong… I know I am no super model but I also know my size and steer clear of clothing that emphasizes my negatives. 

Sanjaya was actually pretty good.  He was soft and timid (but it was appropriate for the song).  He was also in tune and showed vibrato and everything.  I am impressed.  He was far better than Haley and he out-sang Phil. 

Melinda did exactly what we get every week.  She is predictable… she always has a great voice and always adds Melinda-isms into everything.  I just don’t think she is the next great pop star.  Maybe I am wrong but I know I won’t buy her album… am I alone? 

Blake was OK I guess… everyone is saying he was rockin and I just thought it was OK.  I guess this year “OK” makes it great or something. 

Chris apparently had a date with Lauren Conrad this past week.  I was more interested in that than his song.  I did like the stage set-up with the drums and guitar right out there on stage with him.  That was cool.  Chris was OK at best.  He is a bit nasally and it really shows up when they play the recap at the end.  He absolutely looks the part and given the right music could make a name for himself.  I just hope they are already filming the next season of The Hills so I can see the date with Lauren!!! 

Worst of the night was Haley (but Phil wasn’t far ahead of her).  Most memorable of the night was that the 3 back-up singer chicks wore nice red dresses.  They are usually dressed in like plain old t-shirts and jeans.  Or one of them will dress up and the other 2 will be in t-shirts.  I can’t figure it out.  I liked the red dresses tonight… it was more put together.  I do laugh sometimes at the obvious apparent “uniforms” on the church stage every week.  What if you are on the praise team that week and you don’t own mint green clothing?  I guess it is off to the store for you.  I digress…

Doesn’t it seem like forever since American Idol last week?  My husband is out of town for the rest of the week and I have the TV and the DVR all to myself.  I did have to remember to record the Cavs games for him but those shouldn’t interfere with my schedule.  A number of my shows are ending so I am feeling less and less married to the TV.  It is a nice feeling.  Now if only I stick to my guns and not replace that new free time with other shows.  I won’t do it… I won’t.  I won’t let you people convince me to watch Dancing with the Stars.  I won’t get into Grey’s or Lost.  I have a number of quirky shows that I am so committed to… I just can’t help myself.  I just don’t have anymore time people.  Puh-lease… Pale Ryan introduces the show and the contestants.  He also lets us know that it is British invasion week and there is a clip showing the day the Beatles landed in NY on flight number something-or-other.  See the crazy fans… crying and covering their faces?  Remember that… it will be more important later.  British invasion apparently represented more than just the Beatles… there were the Stones, the Kinks, some Hermit Crab Group, some chick named Lulu with really really long thick eyelashes, and a bunch of other groups I can’t remember.  Remember… I say that like I was around for the invasion.  Anywho… I do recognize some of the songs just can’t say that the groups were anything but one hit wonders. We learn that eyelash girl is coaching the girls this week and Peter something-or-other from the Hermit Crabs is coaching the boys.  Peter certainly is a jolly old chap now isn’t he?  And Lulu has seriously toned down the mascara.  She is teeny tiny… like crazy tiny.  My goodness she does have a big voice for such a tiny person, huh?

Hottie Haley is up first.  Yes… I am talking about something other than her voice.  OK OK… voice first.  The song started and I cringed but Haley did get into the vocals as it went on.  By the end I thought it sounded nice… not great… not bad just nice.  Haley looked hot though.  I thought she looked beeeeautiful last week and now she just turned up the hotness factor.  Hello short shorts.  The legs were nice but distracting.  I found myself turning my head to the side to see if the shirt was double sided taped on or if it had one of those faux clear straps holding it in place.  Since I saw nothing I am going with the double sided tape theory.  I was also trying to remember that clip of her fiancé… is he this good looking too?  I can’t remember.  Oh… she’s done.  Randy really liked it while Simon went with the naughty girl comment.    Did ya’ll notice that Paula is wearing giant red jelly beans or Hot Tamales or something around her neck?

Um… I don’t think Peter was being all that nice to Chris when he was coaching him.  Nice.  OK… Chris Richardson broke free of my Timberfake name for tonight.  He didn’t try to dance and thrash around and his song was a little slower tempo.  It was actually quite nice.  I like the acoustic guitar thing and Chris was surprisingly pretty good.  It would have been great if it wasn’t so nasally.  It sounded even more nasally at the end when they recapped the show for us.  Giant live guitar screen saver behind Chris was also a little too busy but I get where they were going with it so I guess I can let that slide.  Next time the producers really should check with me before they make these decisions.  And I laugh and I laugh. Huh huh…

Stephanie acted surprised with Lulu told her that she reminded her of Beyonce.  Puh-lease.  Like she didn’t kiss her little Beyonce University diploma on her way out the door that morning.  Anyway, Stephanie sang the least like Beyonce since we’ve met her and it wasn’t good.  I was visible uncomfortable through the whole performance.  I was squirming on my couch and so tempted to hit the fast forward button but I didn’t want to miss the good part.  Um… OK… could have hit the fast forward button.  Her dress hugged her usually frail frame in all the wrong places.  Can you believe no one said anything about the outfit other than Paula… who loved it (what?!?!?).  Next.

The one man show is up next and I am thinking he listened a little to last week’s advice and steered clear of rearranging the whole dang song on his PC before meeting with the band.  His arrangement was basically the song we knew but he added some fun Blake-isms.  Didn’t you think it was funny the way Peter seemed to really like Blake (quite a change from how he felt about Chris, huh?).  Funny when he said he wouldn’t sit in the front row with all that spitting from Blake’s beat-boxing.  Remember that comment… it will come in handy later.  I know I am asking you to remember certain things today… it really is important though.  Stay with me.  I was genuinely impressed with Blake’s performance.  I am also acutely aware of how thin Blake’s lips are and how crooked his mouth gets when he pulls for the power note (he he)… I know… unimportant.  It is all just part of the Blake we love people.  Was it Blake or Chris R. who had the funny plaid pants… now that I think about it… I think they both wore plaid.  Is plaid the new black?  Do I need some plaid in my wardrobe?  I don’t want to get out of style or anything.  OK back to the show. Whoa… Pale Ryan danced a little jig with Blake.  That was fun.  Many fans for Blake in the audience.  Showin’ the love.

Apparently forgettable Lakisha (you’ll understand later) can’t decide between 2 songs.  She decides to ignore advice and go with her favorite.  I can’t say that I blame her.  She has to feel it… she can’t forget the words… she gets bling bling if she goes with Diamonds Are Forever.  I was just talking about the Bond flicks as I just saw Casino Royale over the weekend.  Good flick by the way.  I didn’t think I was going to like Daniel Craig as Bond but he surprised me.  Reviewing the movie could be a whole different post so I will refrain at this time.  I also wouldn’t want to ruin the ending for you or anything.  Little trivia though… did you know that Casino Royale was the first book.  It wasn’t part of the Bond movie series we love yet when it was made into a 1 hour American TV show… they even called him Jimmy Bond… that just sounds silly now.  It was then made in to a British kind of spoof comedy movie in the 60’s.  I think after that the people who now own the Bond name purchased all rights and started making the Sean Connery flicks.  Thank you.  OK back to Lakisha.  Again… all the lighting stops are pulled with all the glittery white specks flying all over the place.  I somehow want the jumbo-tron to be showing retro Bond movie opening sequences… not this strange light show.  Well hello Lakisha’s jumble-eees.  Meet Lucy and Marge.  I am hoping Lucy and Marge don’t pop out to dance any time soon.  Stand very still… very still.  Other than Lucy and Marge… the dress is great.  It has a very flattering waist line, length and color for Lakisha.  I am with Simon on this one… way too old.  Lakisha also has the same crooked mouth as Blake.  She has better lips though.  I know… so interesting.

Phil didn’t surprise me when he landed in the bottom last week.  He had better come out and wow me tonight.  In the clip they show of Phil singing to Hermit Crab man Phil sounds pretty darn good.  The Crab seems impressed too.  Was that a different song or something?  There is nothing good about this performance I am seeing.  I do notice that Phil uses the ENTIRE VAST stage… he is all over the place.  I am laughing at the efforts he is taking to get from one side to the other.  He throws his hands apart wide when he goes for the really high glory notes but I am mildly uncomfortable.  Granted, I am not squirming like I was with Stephanie but this isn’t good people.  Phil doesn’t look the part of super star and the vocals just aren’t there.  He seems to either really care what the judges are saying or he is a teacher’s pet kind of person.  Either way it is a little annoying.  I think Phil is genuinely a nice person but just out of his league here.  There’s a word with a capital “T” and that rhymes with “P” which stands for pool.  That “T” word… that is what Phil is in.

Holy cow Jordin makes Lulu look like a leprechaun… Jordin must be amazonish.  She made Ryan look really short last week.  Remember in years past when the judges would say that some of our teenagers just didn’t have the experience or “bravo” to pull off a lot of their songs.  OK… this always annoyed me because they are the ones who wanted youngins… heck they didn’t even raise the age limit until a couple years ago.  And even with the increased age… they still put through teenagers and then were harsh on them for being young.  OK… enough griping… where was I going with that?  Jordin does not have this problem.  She rocks.  She sang this melancholy song as if she has lived and learned baby.  I feel like she has been there… in the 60’s… heartbroken… nose pressed up again the glass.  I wonder if she squashed her nose on the glass and then wiped it down like we did when we were kids.  Anyway… I digress… it was lovely.  The tone, vibrato, power, pitch… awesome.  Jordin is one of my favorites of the night.

At some point… I can’t remember when… Pale Ryan found Peter Crab in the audience and had a little conversation with him.  Lulu must not be here.  Did you notice the guy behind Mr. Crab?  It was either the guy who does the missing children thing or the guy who played Mr. Peterman on Seinfeld or someone else like that.  He was SOMEBODY… I am quite sure of it.  Now if only I could place him.

Sanjaya rocked it out tonight.  I was expecting meek and mild but we received a roaring tiger.  Where did this come from?  Just thinking that I thought I thinked I thought I knew him.  Man… I am all flustered by this one.  There is hair band thrashing… revealing shirted sister in the audience… Sanjaya growling, etc.  Sanjaya petrifies a strange little blue nailed girl in the audience.  Wait a minute… she loves it.  She is overcome with joy… just like those crazy Beatles fans when flight something-or-other landed in NY.  It is like the Sanjaya invasion or something.  Was this girl planted?  Is this for real?  It looks like she is wincing with pain but me thinks it might be a smile?  Well now we know who has been keeping this boy in the competition this long.  If only the show were on at 9pm instead of 8pm.  It would be past bedtime and these crazy little girl children would be in bed and not able to vote.  I don’t know whether to be concerned or laugh myself silly.  I go with the latter and have to excuse myself to the bathroom.  This much laughing after having a couple babies and one can’t hold it forever people.  I need to go potty before I explode.  There is nothing to say to Sanjaya at this point.  Does he know he is all singed out?  He can’t get any better so he might as well bring the entertainment factor.  Well Sanjaya buddy… you brought it hard.  Props.

Didn’t you think Gina could sing?  At first I was distracted by the metal in the mouth but she overcame and proved that she does have a voice.  She even managed pretty well given that she was forced to sing Diana Ross people.  One would think that being able to pick a Rolling Stones song would make Gina shine.  Um… not so much.  Gina was so off.  Her vibrato sounded like me trying to force a vibrato out of my untrained body when I am driving down a bumpy road.  Did you ever try that?  Bumpy roads will create the sound that your body can’t seem to force out of its system on its own.  It is amazing what a few potholes and piles of rocks will do for your singing voice.  Superstar.  I find myself staring off in to space as I think about all the times my voice sounded good.  The bumpy car rides, when I had a serious cold and I had a super sexy deep sound, I can’t say that I am so bad at that song The Old Rugged Cross… I rock that song out ya’ll.  Look up… Gina’s still singing… she looks good… all hard rocker and stuff but the sound is excruciating.  Worst of the night.  I feel bad for her as she has to hear the judges trash her song.  You know she tried… it just wasn’t good.  She’ll hear it when she plays it back later.  One of the judges said something about Gina kicking the mic stand… how very rocker of her.  I totally missed the whole thing.  Did they show it?  Was I just daydreaming about my version of The Old Rugged Cross?

The other Chris (Jack) starts off his meeting with Mr. Crab by talking about being sexy or something.  I am thinking this was a joke but no one seems to be laughing… they continue the conversation very seriously.  I am confused and seeing as how Chris-Jack’s song has nothing to do with that conversation, I just delete that whole memory from my head.  Chris-Jack sounded good I guess.  I don’t really like it.  It isn’t terrible like the last performance but it isn’t great either.  My favorite part about this performance is that he almost took Paula out with the mic stand when he was up on the skinny stage behind the judges.  I am laughing.  Chris-Jack can’t seem to decide what to do with the microphone.  Did you notice it to?  Mic stand on the floor with mic in the stand… mic on the stand and hold the stand… swing the stand around… pull mic from stand and leave stand behind… reverse… ahhhh… make it stop.  It stops.  Chris-Jack’s shirt is ½ tucked in for this performance but did you notice that in the recap the shirt was all the way untucked… proof that the recaps are prerecorded.  I always look for the differences.

Idol read my review last week and felt bad that they were dealing out 2 short straws.  One to the first performer and one to the person who has to follow Melinda Doolittle (just can’t type that without the fun last name).  They alleviated that problem by sticking Melinda in the coveted last spot this week.  Melinda Doolittle got a hair cut or got rid of extensions or something.  She has my mom’s hair now.  I think I like it.  She still doesn’t have my mom’s neck.  Mom has a nice long neck.  Melinda Doolittle… not so much.  It is OK though… this chick is so talented it doesn’t matter.  Somewhere in there God implanted a nice set of vocal chords… don’t know where but they are in there.  Melinda seems to be wisely getting away from the awe shucks demeanor… Simon is the one who keeps bring it up.  Enough already.  Remember I told you to remember that Peter O’Crabs didn’t want to sit in the front row with all the beat box spit spewing from Blake?  Well I am sure he is glad he is a few rows back… Melinda was spraying through this one.  She sounds good and controlled as always.  I think it is a super boring song and there isn’t much that Melinda can do with it.  She is so d-a-r-n-e-d (I realize that if I don’t add the dashes it may appear that I am swearing… um no) talented that I think I am unfairly expecting too much out of her at this point.  I need to change that and just enjoy her performances already.

Flash to blue nailed wincing girl child.  Is she OK?  Is her mom there?  What is wrong with this one?

I got to the end of this review and noticed that I forgot Lakisha… that isn’t a good sign.  I am on my way back up the page to insert her in the proper spot.  Yikes Lakisha… all that bling and I still didn’t remember you.

In all it was one of my favorite theme nights.  It afforded the idols enough freedom to pick something good for them and was fun.  What a fun time for music, huh?  Sanjaya should be gone… heck he should have been gone long ago.  Maybe the relatively entertaining performance will make his minions feel he is a little too safe?  Wishful thinking.  If we have a country full of blue nail girl children we are in trouble.  It is past bed-time though.  Phil is in trouble… Stephanie too.  Maybe Gina… time will tell.  Over and out.

Problem – I have been dying to post something but I have been putting it off as I didn’t want the picture of Ace to go away as it moved further down the page.

Solution – just re-copy the picture of Ace into my next post too.  I love when there are obvious solutions to quite serious problems.

Was Buddy the featured pet of dog gone weather one day this week? 

I sit down and see that the DVR is once again huffing and puffing. The cavs are on tonight too… the real housewives of the OC and Janice Dickinson later. At one point in the night the DVR asked me what to not record because there was too much going on. The Munsters lost that battle faster than you can say Herman.

And we’re off… bigger stage, bigger audience, bigger band and bigger heads. I am convinced that this is the year in which American Idol’s ratings slide. It isn’t as good. I don’t care as much and I fin it hard to believe that I am alone. Aynwho… that doesn’t stop Ryan from going on and on and on. I am watching this show on my DVR and note (while fast forwarding) that we are like over 10 minutes in to the show before our first performance.

And who was the unlucky idol who drew the short straw and has to perform first? Brandon, poor Brandon. Going first on the first night is the absolute worst luck. Not only is he not the strongest singer in the bunch but he has the least memorable spot… let’s hope he picks a good one. The only thing I remember about this guy up until this point is his constant goofy grin and the fact that he throws his head back while he sings. Brandon tells us in his clip that he has met a lot of celebrities in his work… um… OK. Brandon sings some popular Diana Ross song and I just think the whole thing is boring. I am reminded how much I hate the Idol format; making me sit through 12 excruciating performances from one artist from decades ago. How am I supposed to see the next great modern pop star or rock star or whatever when I have to listen to them yell their song over an even bigger band to a tune from long ago? I digress.

Melinda Doolittle is up next and I just thought to myself that maybe the shortest straw actually goes to the person who has to perform after Melinda. Unlike Brandon, Melinda has had some memorable performances up until this point. She can sing and she has the darnedest “awe shucks” personality that you won’t soon forget. Sure it is going to get old if she tries to pull off the naïve act all season but for now it is working OK. So does that mean there are 2 short straws? One for the person who has to go first and one for the person who has to follow Melinda. Melinda looks beautiful in her snazzy shoes and flattering dress. The neckline makes it look like Melinda actually has a neck. Melinda Doolittle (love the whole name) sings a song I am not too familiar with. She emotionally moves herself and the vocals are solid. I am kind of bored but I know it was a strong performance. Why has she not done anything until now? We know she is a back-up singer and all but if she is this good… why nothing else? I don’t understand. Again, I am not moved like Paula but then again I am not on drugs either. It was good and all but nothing special.

The “other” short straw of the night goes to Chris. I just want to call the guy Jack… is that OK? Jack (Chris) sang a slow song but oh man… where are his cool glasses? They really help balance his face. I do not like the new look. Part of the way through the song I thought I heard the hint of a lisp too… where are the glasses? Song is still going and I don’t like it. Jack-Chris gets bad comments from the judges… I agree. Where are the glasses?

Gina is up next and I am feeling slightly bad for her. She solidified the fact that she is going to go full-out with the rocker image and what do we do to her? Throw in Diana Ross night and give her a bigger orchestra to boot. Poor Gina. She manages to find a slightly “hard” Diana song and did better than I was expecting given the circumstances. The band (not surprisingly) overpowered her but not without a fight. Gina yelled to try to get over them. I find it funny that Diana said Gina needs to watch her pronunciation… that would be because there is a giant piece of metal going through her tongue, sweety. That is bound to hinder anyone’s speech. I thought she had a lisp back when they started the round of 24… I think it was just that darn tongue ring thing.

Sanjaya steps out doing one of my all time pet peeves… shouting to the audience to “c’mon ya’ll” or something like that. It is bringing back terrible memories of Diana DeGarmo… ahhh… make it stop. Sadly for Sanjaya… his shouts to the audience at the start of his song show the most energy and volume we got from him all night. He slightly sings the rest of his song with his Sanjaya love grin plastered on his pretty little face. Ain’t No Mountain is a strong song, boy… I would have thought Lakisha would be singing this one… anyway. The song is too big for the boy… the hair, earrings, flirty smile, sound, dancing, etc. is all very feminine and I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He clearly shouldn’t be here. He isn’t going to get any better. I just hope people don’t vote him around too much longer… the poor guy is going to be scarred for life. Remember his sister… she clearly thought she was better and seemed a little mad that Sanjaya made it and not her? Could she be lobbying all the votes to show American Idol their mistake? Hmmm… interesting theory.

Haley looks outstanding. I am still silently blaming her for the Gloria Estefen chick not being here but still. Haley starts out on the stool and is so quiet she is making Sanjaya’s performance seem a little over the top. Not only is she squeaking out this song but she does it right after Diana Ross basically says that she is too quiet… hello… Haley… that would be your queue to sing it out a little honey. Where is Whoopi Goldberg when you need her? Haley needs a good nuns punch in the gut to make her sing stronger. Oh my… maybe the reason for barely singing is because Haley barely knows the words. Yikes… I can’t remember that happening at this stage of the competition since like back in season 1 with RJ. I’m sure it has happened since then but this one is pretty bad. Reminds me of RJ’s flub… stands out and is clearly obvious. Sometimes they probably work though it and make it seem like they didn’t forget using runs and stuff. Not Haley. Randy is quick to point out her lack of words and there isn’t much else to say. Oh yeah… Simon must have had a hard time sleeping after the ribbing he gave Haley last week because he is uncharacteristically nice. Ryan makes Haley meet him all the way over on the far side of the stage. I wonder how he picks which people he will meet in the middle and which will have to trot to the stools. Haley… over here… c’mon girl…

Are we ½ way through this show yet? It is so dragging for me, dawg.

Phil Stacey is out sans hat and powers his way through his Diana Ross song. Strong, boring, really happy, shiny performance.

Next… Lakisha looks amazing. My spell checker sure doesn’t like her name… I need to either add her to my dictionary or simply refer to her as KiKi… nope spell check doesn’t like that either… Kisha… nope… Mary… and we have a winner. Where do some people come up with names for their babies? I love the originality I so don’t possess. Whoa… American Idol pulled out all the lighting stops for this one. There are funky white shapes all over the vast stage and Mary-Lakisha sounds great but once again performs with no emotion. Is it just me or does it seem like this is just a job for her? Is she having fun? She finishes her song and while the music is still drowning out Mary squeaks out a quick thank you and looks for the “X” on the floor and blankly stares at the judges to here her performance evaluation.

I am liking that Blake prepares for his performances and spends time on his computer rearranging the songs. How he conveys that to the band is beyond me… I’m sure he would rather just hook his laptop up to the sound system and do it all himself. Can’t you just see him being the best wedding singer… he is a one man show. He sings, dances, mixes songs, spins records, beat boxes. I do like what Blake does with the song. I think Blake “gets” that this stuff is dated and tired and old and the only way that it has a chance to be popular again would be through a modern cover. He does a good job. He may have gone a little too far and his own arrangement got away from him there at the end. The judges have no love for Blake. They don’t get it. They like the classics just the way they are and don’t want anyone telling them that their style is outdated… so there.

Is it over yet?

Its Stephanie’s turn. Too much Beyonce gets on my nerves… sure she is talented and beautiful and all but the voice is just too much in long hauls. I feel like Stephanie has gone to Beyonce University and it is all just too much. Plus… what is up with this song… it is slow and nothing else. I kept waiting for a power part or something. Thank you Randy for explaining that Stephanie just chose to leave out the good part. I don’t know the song and was wondering how that would have been a hit for Ms. Ross. I don’t like it… Stephanie quips about it being too long or something. I am not a professional musician or anything but I would suggest just leaving out some of the boring stuff to fit in some of the good stuff. But what do I know?

Is it over yet (I say more forcefully)?

Timberfake is out next and looks great. If this guy can find his vocal shtick we have a winner in this one. I just don’t think he is ready vocally. Too bad. Our strongest vocal person has very little stage presence and a stupid “awe shucks” personality while the right look and style and everything just can’t cut it vocally. I am not moved… I think Chris forced his “moves” all over the stage simply because he was told to. I agree with Simon on the vocals. I still want to like this guy… I hope he finds himself soon.

Jordin is last. ALREADY!?!?!?!? Don’t know the song. Jordin has always looked and sounded far beyond her years. I mean let’s put it in perspective… she is the same age as Sanjaya people. She delivers a strong vocal but I just don’t like it… could be the song. Jordin does have a power voice and a beautiful smile and she spells her name wrong, by the way. Jordin is way taller than Ryan.

Overall I am so not looking forward to 12 weeks of this. Couldn’t they send home the lowest 6 on the first night and then go from there? Just an observation… we have no one holding up the country end of things this year. That represents a lot of voters… I mean there were enough to crown Carrie Underwood queen… I wonder who will get those votes. I am also curious to see if ratings slip this year. Will Ryan not have record number of votes to profess each Wednesday? I have a sneaking suspicion that there are not record voters or watchers this year.

I won’t care who goes home at this point. I have no favorite yet and there are plenty that need to go. I think Brandon could be in trouble… we are bored. Sanjaya is simply on borrowed time. Phil could go because he didn’t wear his hat. Stephanie could be in trouble… I have a feeling she is fighting for the same votes as Melinda and Lakisha… the power house votes. We’ll see…

I’ve heard it before, but it was a good reminder today:

“…the way to avoid sin is not to avoid sinners but to stick close to Jesus.”